A Lesson in Asking

When you are unemployed conventional wisdom says that it’s a good idea to view job-hunting as your full time job. Monday through Friday my routine has become to camp out at Starbucks from 9 a.m. to an afternoon hour, searching and applying for jobs.

[Job Hunting = asking, seeking, knocking. The Adventure lies in the Not Knowing. Fatigue threatens in the waiting. Who will open?]

Two Sundays ago I enjoyed a visit from Cousin Erin of southern California. She came with gifts, in conversation depositing a lot more wisdom (the non-conventional, hard-earned kind) into my soul and in conclusion bequeathing me with a generously charged Starbucks gift card. Conventional wisdom says that gifts are generally appreciated but experience reveals more: to the unemployed, gifts are lifelines. For me, a Starbucks gift card was an investment into my future career path.

[Cousin Erin and I enjoy some off-roading.] Upon receiving this golden ticket I asked God to bless me with a job before the monies thereupon were completely depleted. This was a prayer of faith, of stewardship and of pragmatism. With the gift card I habitually ordered the least expensive item on the menu (iced tall unsweetened green tea), to stretch its value the longest. Asking and trusting and knocking continued, too.

Yesterday after my Starbucks job-hunting appointment I wondered how God would answer my prayer for timely employment; after several weeks of usage my card balance had been reduced to $0.56. There would be no more employment-seeking rendezvous at Starbucks on that balance.

At 6 p.m. the crickets on my phone chirped. Trader Joe’s was summoning my crickets. Trader Joe’s, that glorious establishment of fine and funky culinary opportunity! The place at which my soul most wanted to find part time employment! They offered me work! A competitive wage, consistent hours, a positive and fun environment, a company and product about which I am passionate, at an urban and edgy local. And I start today! With $0.56 remaining on my Starbucks card.

Sacramento

These postings shall become more regular. Until they do, let me catch you up... Saturday, 3 August, 2013- At midnight Mamma and I arrived at Aunt Debbie’s. The sunshine is delicious. She is enjoying time with the Klings and Cards. I am home now, breathing slow, satisfying breaths of change. Home now is a soft place to land. Though it is transitory, I share it with family with whom I share a past. I am here to invest my future with them. [A fraction of my Cali Family...]

I brought to my new Home many Questions. Fear came with me. Twisted, knotted, layered, complex Fear. God, unravel it. Smooth it; smooth me. Heal me- the prayer of a wearied pilgrim.

Questions. “I don’t know where I am going and I don’t know how to get there.” Wyoming’s purple mountains and white golden grasses blinked unconsolingly at me. They offered no answer to my words, my cry, my unformulated yet unwittingly implied Questions. Those previously unknown to me.

That was yesterday. Mamma, Professional Mother, probed and exposed this deficiency in me. Wise woman! Her questioning, more illuminating than flashes of heat lightning dancing across the Denver sky, though disarming, give me Center. [Lindsey and I in Denver...]

Questions. Fear. And a soft pace to land. Ten months. And a Guide who wrote my story through the beginning of this new chapter. Jesus. Jesus! Jezi! Twenty-nine years. Fumbling, reaching, scratching, crawling. Flash Your lightning, illuminate me!